So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
