just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
