I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
