Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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