so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
