is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
