She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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