Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
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