We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
