and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
