I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
