but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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