dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
