I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
