you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
