She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
