He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
