oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
