i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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