I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
