I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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