dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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