I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
