...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
