New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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