Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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