She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
