we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
