so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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