Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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