He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
