He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
