I don't think brook has ever known best
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
