You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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