There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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