my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
