apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
