I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I will be naked everywhere
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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