I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
