I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
high people should be assigned attendants
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
