I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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