I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
