you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
