Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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