I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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