Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
