Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
