you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
