Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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