I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
