Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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